We lost her.

Dear Dad,

Long time no talk mate.

Well, I'm guessing you already know.

I'm guessing you've already seen her.

I'm hoping you picked her up and took her with you.

We lost Mum on Thursday morning.

She had her valves repaired on Tuesday the 18th, and it went well, it went REALLY well. She made this meteoric recovery while she was still in hospital. I was allowed to take her home on the Sunday, she was doing so well, she was the perfect patient, letting me look after her and just hanging out. We had a lovely Christmas together.

On boxing day I noticed that she was very out of breath, and going a bit blue around the mouth. we went into hospital, and although I told every nurse I saw that I was worried and felt out of my depth the assured me that Mum was dehydrated and had a wee kidney infection, she was OK, and was fine at home, but if I was really worried she could stay a couple of days in Ranfurly and rest. So that's what she did. I took her into the hospital, I settled her in her room, we chatted, she was watching TV. I left her. She was fine.

Mum was fine.

But she wasn't Dad. Something went catastrophically wrong just before 8 on Thursday morning, and her heart just stopped. Stopped. Dead. Like  a bullet. Nothing could be done.

They tried, they tried really hard to save her. They filled her with Adrenalin, they did CPR for over 30 minutes, they had ICU and the Westpac Helicopter on call but there was NO sign of even a flicker of cardiac activity. Mum was gone. Verne came in to see me and Jenny and asked our permission to stop CPR.

We let him.

And then Mum was gone.

We were allowed to see her. She looked so peaceful laid out on that bed. Still in her Jammies.
She just looked like she was sleeping. I'll never forget how she looked on that dull Thursday Morning.

We were with her Dad? Did you pick her up?

I hope so.

I hope you're together now.

Look after Mum.

Give her one last kiss from me.

Love you dad.

Miss you Mum.

Cath
xoxox